Julie ♥

Father, no one knows my pain as much as you do. No one knows my suffering as much as you. No one loves me as much as you. I’ve been beaten today. And I wish it could’ve been to death, so that I wouldn’t have to face anymore of these bs. I’m running away now lord. For good! I won’t be showing my face to anyone anymore. I ask for guidance lord. And your presence. Please forgive me for doing this. And please, forgive me for my sin.

sometimes, I just wished that I had the chance to be able to have someone listen to me, rather than just over powering me.

GAHH! IGNORANT PEOPLE I FREAKEN SWEAR! I’m always waiting.. waiting waiting waiting! and what? what happens? huh?? plans always gets ruined!! whatever.. sigh.. fml fml fml

Father; how much longer?

How much longer do I have to suffer through these pains that I once suffer through 5 years ago? How much Father? How much? My heart aches, My mind’s blown. I can’t do anything right anymore. I cant live like this any longer!

Father; I’m sick and tired of people bringing up marriage to me. My heart shatters when they do! Do they see that little of me? To be saying all that adult stuff to me? I’ve never learned how to be a kid, once in my life! I’ve never learn how to even be a tween in my life! I have a year left of my teen life, that I have never ever even experience how it is like to be one! And next thing I know, I’m expected to live in the adult world for the rest of my life? How can that be?

I don’t know what to do anymore? Why me father? why me? Can’t you just already take me away lord? can’t you? There’s no place for me here anymore. I’m just an outcast. I’m a nobody. No one wants me here. No one cares for me here. Just take me already father.. Please :’(

Sometimes, it’s just better to let things be as it is already. But it’s just a matter of time that I have to realize that this is not a fairy tale anymore. Even if I want to be heard, what voice do I have? Every might that I show, has always been looked down upon. Every love that I gave, is never more than enough. What more can I say? What more can I do? I’m only a hmong girl, who has no say, but is expected to do as others wishes. Sometimes I question, “God, How long do you want me to keep doing this?” but all that I hear, is him saying “just a little longer”.. How much is a little longer? when it’s been almost 6 years. Tonight I go to sleep, with a modest broken heart. Tonight, my heart has been shatter once again. And tonight, I feel like I once am that 12 years old girl once more.

Handsome, why won’t you just believe that I do love you? huh?? I know you understand. That’s why you’re my best friend :):):)